Long, long ago (1998) MTV performed a nationwide search interviewing thousands of people & accepting video testimonies of just how dedicated & crazy of an Ozzy fan people were. I JUMPED at the opportunity. I had been an Ozzy fan for a few years and it had turned into a fun, slightly unhealthy, obsession. I knew every song. Make that lyric. I watched anything and everything that I could get my hands on that contained footage of the Ozz man. Back in the 90's there were a handful of Ozzy web sites and I ran one - Waiting for Darkness - that ended up winning awards for the amount of content and design that it displayed. I would sleep in parking lots, waiting for the ticket terminals to open for the upcoming concert. I blew entire month's paychecks on scalped tickets to see the action from the front row. Metal Edge magazines? I owned them all and wallpapered my bedroom with every single picture I could find. And truly... I had a hole in my heart and Ozzy seemingly filled that for me. His songs, videos, the fun & the craziness filled a void and I owned it. Needless to say, the producers took notice when I entered the nationwide search. And I won. Here it is ...... In all my glory, meeting my idol.
But, I have to tell you something. I came to a realization after my FANatic experience that forever changed me. Ozzy was just a person. An amazingly talented, smart & fun individual. But, a person. Not a god. Not an idol. But.... a person. Ozzy even said to me himself... He hoped he "hadn't disappointment me" because he knew that about himself, too. He's just a man... living his dream, making a living and entertaining the masses. And actually, realizing he is a person....not an idol....made me love him more. I was not disappointed, but I did come to some conclusions. People tend to set such high expectations on musicians and celebrities when in reality, they are the same as us. They are people with flaws and voids in their owns lives and they lack the capability of truly filling the voids in their fans. Along my journey in this life, I have come to find out who and what exactly fills that void & need we are all born with. I believe I was meant to meet Ozzy that set me out on this journey of discovery.
A lot has changed since that day.
|Ozzy cross tattooed on my |
back + the wedding dress
Am I still a fan? YES. I can honestly say after 18 years, I still enjoy popping in an old favorite (The Ultimate Sin or No More Tears... and always some classic Sabbath) rolling my windows down and blasting my speakers. Some of my children are even big fans. My little girls leans towards Ozzmosis as her favorite album (:
Children. That's right. Since meeting Ozzy I became a mother and gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. It was shortly thereafter that I encountered my Savior, Jesus Christ, in a whole new way. I then married the love of my life and had three more treasured children. Yes, in that order.
|2000, 2005, 2007, 2010|
Motherhood changes you. (At least it should)
Pure and simple.
After I gave birth to my daughter I suddenly had two innocent eyes staring back at me. Eyes that needed every part of my being. Eyes that would one day ask me life's biggest questions. And at 20 years old, I grew up overnight.
It's been in this journey of motherhood, marriage & life that I have come to know my Creator in a personal way. It is Who I depend on. It's Who I seek for answers. It's where I go to for help. He never let's me down. He is truly the One who fills me up so much that I overflow. (Psalm 23)
|Ozzfest '98. Best seat in the house.|
I still am the same crazy girl at heart that I was back in 1998. Ozzy's cross is tattooed on my back (an 18th birthday present) & I do believe it has a new representation in it's meaning for me. I will still be at the concerts, raising my lighter and singing along. I'll continue to spin the records, thinking back on all the fun that is wrapped up in so many of the songs of my youth. Why? Because it's rock 'n roll and that's what we do. But, beyond that, my hope lies in Jesus as the One that I go to for fulfillment.
And Ozzy, if you're reading, let's do lunch when you come back to West Palm Beach. We can eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and catch up.
|My life now.|
God Bless you all!